Better make sure you’ve got your armor on for this review Coin Droppers because it’s gonna be a boss fight.
Release Date: March 3rd, 2017
I suppose I should give you fair warning. If you’re looking for a glowing review because this is a Zelda game and it deserves a high score just because it is a Zelda game you should probably stop reading now. All the fanboys and girls that don’t want an honest review gone? Good. Let’s jump right into it then Coin Droppers.
This is hands down the most appalling and horrid Zelda game I’ve ever played. Seriously this game is up there with Legend of Zelda II: Links Adventure. You made a beautiful massive world Nintendo great job! Why is it as barren as the Sierra Desert? You wanted to make a massive world that was even bigger than Skyrim but you didn’t want to fill it with stuff to do? You didn’t think that one through, did you? Sadly, there just aren’t many side quests. There are only two major side quests. One is to find and complete all 120 shrines which are small and by small, I mean microscopic “dungeons” spread through the world. The other has you scourer every nook and cranny of the world looking for Kokiri
Seeds of which there are 900 to find. What are these seeds for you might ask well they’re sole purpose is to increase the number of melee weapons, shields, and bows you can carry (yay!). Beyond that there are some other side quests here and there scattered about that with the help of your quest log make it easier to track, so at least there’s that.
Moving on to combat this was one aspect of the game I did enjoy. Timing your dodge to get that sweet counter attack, parrying and feeling like a beast when you unleash a fury of slashes in retaliation.
I really enjoyed the weapon breaking mechanics that aspect of the game forced you to change fighting styles when your broadsword broke and all you had left was a slow powerful claymore. It made for some fun and dynamic combat.
Graphically and artistically speaking the game was a lot of eye candy. I did find myself standing on the towers just looking out at the world from time to time in awe of the detail put into the world. Too bad it was so damn empty and I wasted more time running and riding across it than enjoying it.
Another major flaw in the game was the lack of a way to quickly make a recipe. Being forced to remember exactly what ingredients I need to make a full healing dish that also added 8 hearts was a pain in the ass. Just give me a recipe
book that I can click on and cook what I need Nintendo.
Breath of the Wild’s story was so forgettable I had to sit and remember what they called the 4 “dungeons” in the game. The 4 Divine Beasts. All said and done each one took me at most an hour and at least about 15 minutes. This is a dungeon Nintendo? You don’t even give us a new toy to use anymore. Now you get a special power when you beat the boss. The powers are pretty sweet but damn it where’s my hookshot?! As for the boss fights, I can honestly say I was not impressed. Luckily there wasn’t an annoying fairy telling you exactly how to beat the bosses in this game. Instead, the spirits of the champions gave you tips which ultimately, I ignored in favor of just whacking the shit out of it with a sword.
That seemed to do the trick seeing as how none of the bosses managed to kill me or even hurt me very much. I died more from lightning and guardians out in the world than fighting those 4 “Dungeon” bosses.
As far as characters go Zelda was just annoying beyond all measure. Going through and finding all of Link’s memories made me think of Zelda as Jane from the old Tarzan TV show; if you haven’t seen the show she is not depicted in a good way. She was full of self-pity, seemed clumsy and was obsessed with the guardians and a “rare flower” called the “Silent Princess”. Of which I had literally gathered over 100 of throughout the game. Super “rare”. Beyond that, you had a forgettable ‘copy paste’ cast of people to talk to who all said the same thing. “Why do you want to board the divine beast? Only the champion can blah blah blah” copy paste dialog… After the second time getting virtually the same dialog I wanted an option that said, “Bitch I’m Link shut up and let me fix this.”
Rupees. Holy shit rupees. The cost of gear in this game is astronomical and when you consider that your only real income is from the sparse chests that have rupees, killing mobs for drops that you sell and gambling. On top of that add in gear upgrading through the great fairies who charge the cost of the Hope Diamond AND certain monster drops to upgrade armor rating.
Link better bleed platinum because that’s the only way you’re affording this shit. Not to mention the audacity of the builders in Hateno Village that are about to tear down Links house the things basically a historical landmark guys come on! They do however give you the chance to buy it back and then force you to pay for furniture and “upgrades” like a door and a fully-grown tree they magic into existence out front(?).
Link’s going to need a Goron to carry around all the money he’ll need in this game the Giants Wallet just isn’t giant enough.
If you don’t want to hear how the game end’s skip the next section
Ganon is the final boss. Big surprise, right? When you go to fight Ganon, getting through the maze of death known as the guardians is more difficult than his whole fight. If you did what you were supposed to and freed all the divine beasts (Which you don’t even have to do. You can go fight him with just your Master Sword if you want to be a badass) they literally melt his health down to half at the beginning of the fight. HALF! He still takes a fair amount of damage before he’s done but that fight had to be one of the easiest fights against Ganon ever. OOT Gannon was harder than this. Luckily this wasn’t such a departure from the franchise that they only gave Gannon one form. Ganon’s final form is a giant fire laser spewing pig that to defeat you ride on the back of your horse that I named Freya
(Epona is dead get over it.) and fire arrows at giant Tri-Force shaped targets that Zelda manifests on to him till he’s dead. The whole fight takes about 10 minutes at most and about 10 arrows if you’re good. I would say that’s a pretty weak “final form” Ganon.
After you defeat him Zelda is freed and the game pretty much ends with the same ending we’ve come to expect from LoZ games.
Here’s one of my biggest complaints though. How the hell does Zelda still look 17?! It’s been 100 years and you’re telling me Zelda is the ONLY person besides Link (who was basically in cryo sleep the last 100 years) who didn’t age? Zelda is 117 or so years old and she still looks the same! No explanation as to how that’s a thing especially after Impa tells you she fought against Ganon 100 years ago and she’s old as shit now!
Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild was a huge departure from the franchise and it wasn’t a good one. Don’t get me wrong for the most part the game was decently fun all be it incredibly repetitive. But this game (hopefully) has laid the ground work for Nintendo to make massive improvements six or so years down the road when they roll out the next game. Consider this the Assassins Creed 1 of the AC franchise. Assassin’s Creed 2 took the ground work of 1 and made it a billion times better. Bring back the serious dungeons, add a more dynamic and fullness to the
world to explore and your next game will be what Breath of the Wild should have been Nintendo.
Overall, this game was disappointing. I was so stoked and excited when they were showing us this game and I wanted so bad to love every second of it but within the first 15 hours of playing it the magic just wore off and it became a chore. Better luck next time Nintendo.
If you’re dead set on picking this game up personally, I wouldn’t pay more than $40 bucks for it. My suggestion is to just skip this one. Save your money and wait till you can find it on the cheap or just don’t get it all together.
TL:DR – Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild tried to be Skyrim and failed horribly. Gameplay was fun, Story forgettable, repetitive and incoherent at times. Wasted more time traveling across the map from place to place than enjoying the journey. The game became a chore and was overall just underwhelming.
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